Dreams on Hold Learning to Find Happiness in the Season You're In

Motherhood. There's no bigger blessing than raising your little ones and getting to experience life from their perspective. Seeing their little eyes as they discover... hold on one second. "PUT THAT DOWN, I WILL NOT SAY IT AGAIN!" Sorry, where was I? Oh Yes, talking about how fulfilling being a mom is; there's truly nothing better... *Crash* " Ok, that's it, I'm done, where's my wine?"

Sound familiar? I hope so because I want to believe I'm not the only one who struggles with complete chaos. Here's the thing: I'm a mom (who would have guessed), and as much as I adore the little gremlins that share my house with me, I can't help but sometimes feel like I've given up my dreams and my identity. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade them for the world, but sometimes I worry that I'll forget who I am and all of the big dreams I had before I started answering to "mom."

I wanted to share my moment of vulnerability with you because I believe it's important for us moms to support each other so we don't feel so alone. That's why I want to talk to you about handling feelings of resentment, specifically due to raising kids. Ready? Great, let's get into it!

What if I told you that feeling resentful is totally normal? That's right, you don't have to feel guilty for wishing you could pursue your dreams (and maybe holding it against your kiddos a bit.) Motherhood is hard, and it requires selflessness that many women aren't prepared for. Now, please don't think I'm shaming you; nothing could be farther from the truth. Speaking from personal experience, I had no idea how much of myself I would have to give up when my daughter was born; they really should have a book or class about it!

Suddenly, life is all about them and what they need, and everything else falls by the wayside. If we're not careful, the dreams we had before can become snuffed out and die, often so quietly we don't realize it's happening. The result? We begin feeling suffocated and trapped. A little spark of resentment lights inside, and as time goes on, it begins to grow. The scary thing is if we're not careful, resentment can fester into something truly ugly, risking our relationships with our partners and, worse, the very children we sacrificed everything for.

The good news is that you don't have to follow that path! In fact, one motto can change you're mindset and help you start chasing those dreams again. Repeat after me, "I can have anything; I just can't have everything," at least not right now. What does that mean? It means you can start taking steps now to achieve your dreams in the future while enjoying your current season of life; it just requires patience.

Don't worry; I didn't just drop that bombshell and leave. I've got some practical tips you can start doing today that will help you feel more in control of your future and get you excited for the day you can make your dreams a reality. The best part of all of this? Taking positive steps toward achieving your future goals is one of the best ways to stop feeling resentment and begin appreciating your life, exactly where you are right now!

Journaling

Journaling is an excellent way to clear your mind and store ideas you can use at a future date. When we have dreams, we often get bogged down in the details and feel too overwhelmed to take the next step. Or we get distracted and forget what we were thinking. Writing down your thoughts will help with both these scenarios, and actively planning for your dreams will keep you excited and feeling proactive.

Set Goals

You may have crazy big dreams or smaller ones, but how you achieve them is the same: setting goals. Take some time and think about what practical goals you can set now to help you achieve your dreams in the future. It can be something simple like reading more to keep your brain sharp, taking an online course, or eating better. Develop a set of short and long-term goals to keep yourself motivated and easily track your progress. You may not feel like you're doing much at the moment, but when you look back on everything you've accomplished, you'll see the small steps you take each day lead to big changes over time!

Work On Your Dreams A Little Each Day

Piggy-backing on goal setting, try to do one thing each day that will help you work towards your dreams. It doesn't have to be big; maybe you drink more water so you have more energy or go to sleep earlier. Actively doing one thing every day to get closer to your dreams will empower you and help you rediscover yourself.

Be Patient

This tip is one of the most important and the most challenging. There's a saying that the days are long, but the years are short, and as corny as it is, it's true. There's a reason they call the different stages in life "seasons"; it's because they only last a short while. Before you know it, your kids will be grown, and you'll have all the time in the world to work on achieving your dreams. Believe it or not, you will miss where you are right now. (I know that's hard to believe with spit up on your shirt and seven days without a shower!) Be patient and try to live in the moment. You don't want to look back one day and wish you had been more present.

Resentment stems from feeling out of control, so by taking active steps to work towards your dream, you can begin feeling more at peace in your life. Motherhood isn't easy, which is why taking time for yourself is crucial to maintaining your mental and physical health. You've got this, mama; I believe in you, and you're not alone! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a huge mess to clean up, and it sounds like someone is using the cat as a chew toy.

Because in the end, “you can have anything, you just can’t have everything.”  At least, not all at once. But at different times you can have that too. It’s Possible!