The Sweet Spot Between Holding On and Letting Go

Let's face it: relationships are hard. Whether it's romantic, a friendship, or even family, sometimes they just don't last. The tricky part is knowing when to hold on or let go. There's no manual for this, so it's no surprise that some people walk away too soon, while others hold on for too long. Finding that sweet spot where pleasure meets pain is challenging, but it's possible!

When it comes to finding that balance, there are three key questions I ask myself:

1.What Is My Why?

The first (and arguably most powerful) question to ask yourself is, "What is my why?" While it may seem simple, the answer is what drives you when things get tough. Knowing your "why" keeps you steady when you're tempted to let go too soon and helps you release when it's time to stop holding on.

Wanting to let go too soon or hold on too long stems from the same root: a desire to stay safe and comfortable. Both are fear-based actions, which is why they feel so strong. Knowing your "why" helps you prioritize — is comfort more important, or are your dreams? It shifts your focus, cultivates purpose and clarity, and helps make the right choice more obvious.

Ultimately, holding on or letting go is about choosing the option that best aligns with your "why."

2.What Is My Fear?

Understanding that your actions to let go too soon or hold on too long are rooted in fear is one thing, but identifying that fear is another. While it's difficult, facing your fears is essential for moving forward. Once you have clarity about what you're afraid of, you can ask yourself if that fear is real or merely a product of someone else’s expectations or opinions.

Ask yourself, "Am I making this decision because it aligns with my 'why,' or am I just afraid to face what's the unknown?" Confronting your fears allows you to heal underlying issues that hold you back — and that will set you free.

3.What Am I Willing to Sacrifice?

Every step forward involves some sort of sacrifice. You're constantly growing, shedding outdated ideals, and embracing new ones, but none of this happens without giving something up. Whether it's time, money, or resources, life requires choices.

You create time and space for what serves you, so why should relationships be any different? When deciding to let go or hold on, ask yourself, "What am I willing to sacrifice?" In other words, what matters most to you in the end?

Accepting that nothing comes without sacrifice brings clarity to what’s truly worth choosing.

Finding the sweet spot between holding on and letting go is a difficult mind game, but once you do, you’ll experience a feeling of relief, confirming your decision. By discovering your "why," facing your fears, and identifying what you’re willing to sacrifice, you can confidently embrace what the future holds. It’s possible!