Talking to Kids About Being Unique

As parents, as adults, as guardians we often forget the childhood burdens that in the moment

seem as if the world was colliding. As we grow up we realize that life is full of burdens and

hardship, making the world of the playground seem insignificant and tiny.

However, a common battle on the playground is the suppression of uniqueness and differences.

Unfortunately our world primes us for the desire to “fit in at all costs,” and children aren’t saved

from it. But as parents we have an opportunity to turn this battle into a dance party of embrace

and celebration through conscious and heartfelt conversation.

The most important first step in this conversation is relating to children and empathizing with

them.

In this situation, “tough love,” isn’t tough, nor is it love. It actually teaches children avoidance

patterns and suppressing their emotions. Instead, put yourself in their shoes. Understand that in

their worlds this is huge, and that it either aids in their development, confidence, and belonging,

or it deters them from it.

Share your own story and your own experience of this rite of passage of embracing yourself

and your uniqueness.

When you let children know that you’ve been there, and aren’t afraid to speak about it, you’re

showing them that their vulnerabilities are valid and safe. It also communicates to them that this

in fact is something most people have been initiated through and they’re not alone in feeling the

way they do. In turn, you teach them coping, resiliency, and emotional regulation.

Use the lessons you’ve learned to illuminate certain things in their experience.

At one point in our life we realize that uniqueness actually makes us stand out, even sought

after. With time, we learn to crave it. Think of the adults in your life who “march to the rhythm of

their own drum,” and how inspiring they are. Think of the creative person in your office who

comes up with the most magnificent ideas and isn’t afraid to share them. Think of the desire we

all have for one-of-a-kind clothing and art pieces. Use your understanding that uniqueness will

someday be the epitome of success and communicate this to children in order to illuminate that

someday they’ll be grateful for every ounce of their authentic expression.